It's hard to grow up sometimes

What does that mean? I'm 52 years old, shouldn't I already be grown up? What I mean is sometimes it's hard to deal with "grown up" things. Or it's hard to deal with things like a grown up sometimes. As I ponder some relationships in my life and realize they are changing, or diminishing, or actually dying, I wonder why that is so difficult for me to grasp. I think somewhere deep down inside I just think that everyone should like everyone and everyone should think like me and want to do things just like I do, when in truth and actuality, they don't. So sometimes, as circumstances change and people change, if relationships don't evolve to accommodate those changes, they begin to diminish and people drift apart. I don't know why that evokes a small little pocket of panic somewhere in the deepest recesses of my heart, but it does. I tend to make the effort to keep relationships close to me no matter what happens. As I look back over my life, I can identify a few places along the path where I should have been willing to let people exit my life - I ended up compromising myself in some instances, just because I didn't want a separation. Right now there are two or three relationships I have that are causing me more sadness and pain than joy, and so, as a "grown up" I should let those relationships go - quit putting 150% effort into something that the other person is putting, 50%, 25% or perhaps even 0%. I guess part of growing up is also sticking up for myself and putting that 150% effort into a relationship with people who appreciate me for who I am, and want to reciprocate, eh? How's that for deep stuff this early in the morning? Be a grown up today - be nice, but stick up for yourself!