Fixing!

Fixers - I am one. There are alot of us out there (you know who you are!). I don't just try to fix myself, I try to fix everything for everyone. I want everyone to be at peace and happy and well adjusted, so I just keep stewing about what I can do to help each and every one of you come to the place that everything is well and good....according to me. Hmmmmm. What if my "fixing it" for you, is just really underneath it all, making it "bearable" for me? Isn't it true that our society is one of the few that is sooooo uncomfortable with grief, with mourning, with sorrow - so much so that we seldom just sit still and let trials have their work in us? Ewwww! I'm fidgeting in my chair just saying that! While all my fixing and suggesting and re-arranging and planning what I can do to butt in, er help, you is well intentioned and with your best interests at heart, the thought just recently occurred to me that sometimes our lives have to become uncomfortable - for us to grow, to learn, or just because that's how life is. We'd never change anything if we were completely comfortable where we are. Our attention in the massage world is often drawn to this fact: we can't be a vessel for healing for others, if we're clogged up and unmaintained and untaken care of ourselves. Wow - that puts all the responsibility back on me to take care of myself and "fix" my issues first - then see if I can help others, eh? It seems like I've discussed this issue before - that is, my tendencies to try to make everything better for everyone. Once again, I think I'll try to set a boundary and decipher what's my responsibility and what's not. When our Native friend Rowena lived with us, I used to try to get her to side with me in "discussions" with my boys, and she would always very wisely say, "sorry - that's not my business". Maybe I'll try to take those words to heart a little more and stop trying to assist everyone so much in their journey while concentrating more on my own!