Year for Boundaries

If you're even remotely familiar with me, you know boundaries are not my strong suit. I don't know if it's my age (getting higher again this week - how could it be that time again?) or that prayer I prayed to really change some things this year (instead of useless resolutions that in my own strength I can never accomplish), but this seems to be the year. I'm seeing boundaries and their purposes and benefits so much clearer now. I've even set a couple. At first it felt really weird and really wrong - after all, I've had none for fifty, well let's just say I've pretty much not had any my whole life. But now I see - boundaries are necessary for all our mental health. It is exhausting not to have any and feel like you always have to take on the whole world. Oh - we people without boundaries don't perceive it that way - we think we're just helpful people, and to some extent we are. It's in my personality. I've never had a sense that I am responsible just for myself. Any needy child within a 20 mile radius (for example) becomes mine - lol! Again, being kind and reaching out are not bad qualities - but when it overruns your life and you now are just jumping through everyone else's hoops, it's time for a change. And this year is mine. I'm going to make some changes. Have you ever read the poem "Life in Five Short Chapters" by Portia Nelson? I've pasted it here for you to read - I love it! My adventure in setting boundaries (along with a few other situations in my life) is captured here in this poem. Change is hard, but necessary for growth.

Life in Five Short Chapters

CHAPTER 1

I walk down the street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
And I fall in.
I am lost. I am helpless. It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

CHAPTER 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It takes a long time to get out.

CHAPTER 3

I walk down the same street and there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there, and still I fall in.
It's a habit.
But my eyes are open and I know where I am.
It is my fault and I get out immediately.

CHAPTER 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

CHAPTER 5

I walk down a different street.

By Portia Nelson