Love is in the air!

Barry and Britt.

Mal and Patrick.

Tanner and Amanda.

Young love is in the air at my house and it's so darling. Remember those days when it didn't matter how much sleep we got or how long we talked on the phone because we were so thrilled just to be able to be with or talk to that one person who we just adored? It's fun to watch these kids enjoy that kind of relationship developing day by day. My oldest son, Barry has already found and married his soul mate, Brittany, who we all also adore. I feel very blessed for my three children to have found the loves of their lives in such wonderful people. I absolutely love them all! One lucky momma, I am.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is today's lesson. Letting go of those things that have hurt or betrayed us in the past. Forgiving those people who have knowingly or unknowingly inflicted pain upon us. Because those things keep us tied to the very people we think we're running from to protect ourselves from more pain. Sometimes I feel justified in my unforgiveness - thinking someone may not deserve to receive that from me. I think I have confused forgiveness with lack of boundaries. I can still set my boundaries so that I am true to myself, yet extend forgiveness to that person, thereby releasing all the "crud" that subsequently develops in me (guilt, bitterness, etc.), seeing what "gift" I can receive or insight I can gain from this experience, and open up my heart and life to move on. Sounds easy, eh? Yeah - until we start digging around deep down in there to find all kinds of stuff we've conveniently set aside to try to forget. Little by little, those things have a way of re-surfacing so we can deal with them. Here we go...let the fun begin!

Journeying

Ok - now for those of you who are already thinking - "great - Deb's on one of her 'adventures' again and trying to drag us all with her" - well, you're right! Although I won't try to divulge and possibly bore you with all the details of the journey I am personally on, I will try to communicate to you through this blog, some of the issues that I feel are important to us all. Hopefully, you will enjoy this journey also, even if only vicariously through me. I am doing two different, yet similar, paths on this journey at the same time. Dumb? Perhaps. Overwhelming? Not yet. In one of the instructions, I came upon a 7 day challenge that I would like to pass on to all of you. In a nutshell, these paths are currently dealing with letting go of negative things that subconsciously hold us back from being whatever we should be...healthy, happy, whole - whatever. Anyway, this challenge involves an action from us that requires us (some of us more than others) to use a little control. The challenge, should you choose to accept, is this: do NOT complain for a full seven (yes 7) days - not even to yourself in your head! The author of this book assures us that our lives will change because of just this one adjustment. Why you ask? Because when we are complaining, we are constantly focusing on, obsessing about, concentrating on, the negative things in our lives. And why seven full days? Because, according to this author, the first few days, a few complaints may slip through - it will take the full seven to get into the new habit of not focusing on the negative. Your mission, should you choose to accept it with me? The next seven days, no complaining! Let me know how you do.

On a Journey

Today I embarked upon a journey - you know, one of those "dig deep, get to know your desires and wants" kind of journeys. It appears nice enough - be still and listen, meditate on this, that, and the other. Well, anyway, today was day one and it went pretty good...until real life happened. About everything that could go wrong, went wrong. From messed up cell phones to forgotten books for school, to my car being broke - AGAIN! Arghhhhh! Oh well - at least my "insides" are calm and focused, ready to attain my goals!

Stressful!

Yesterday morning was stressful...maybe partially self induced, but still stressful. As I came back to the salon from McDonald's (where I go when there's stress), I happened to notice the lady driving in the lane opposite me. Now, if you know me at all, you know this in itself is a rarity. I am the embodiment of being in my own little world when I drive - you can honk, wave, probably slam your hand down on my car and I wouldn't notice, but today I did. I had to look really closely to make out her face, but when I did, I saw a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. I didn't think much about it until I peered into my rear view mirror for something a couple minutes later and caught a glimpse of my own face. That's when it hit me - I looked just like her - only the thing hanging out of my mouth was a french fry. Hmmm. Food for thought - I'll say no more!

Turkey Festival Parade! (special friends)

The kids got to see some extra special friends in this parade. Spiderman, Scooby Doo, Batman, Bob the Builder, Dora the Explorer, Blues Clues and some princesses, just to name a few. Notice how the kids couldn't wait and usually ended up in the street, in the middle of the parade, just to see their favorite friends!

Turkey Festival Parade! (Before)

Here we are...waiting for the Turkey Festival Parade to come by my brother's house. There's Apollo, watching and waiting diligently. Then it started to rain, so Vicky got umbrellas for the kids - here's Maria and Emma holding their umbrellas. Then Terrance decided to make an "umbrella tent" and they all climbed in - for just a brief moment, before the "sides" started to crash in! Waiting, waiting, waiting....what a hard job for children of this age! The promise of beautiful and musical things to come, the imaginings of what's going to be on their street, suddenly gives way to bursts of "it's not coming, it's never coming, what happened to the parade?"

Indian tacos!

Sorry I've been out of touch all week. We have had computer problems at work that I'm not sure we've overcome yet, which seriously cuts into my time for quickly posting on my business facebook page and here on my blog. Anyway, yesterday some friends and I went over to Sommer Park for the Return to Pimiteoui pow wow. Unfortunately, the storm came up rather suddenly, and so we really didn't get to see much dancing. But, as you can see here, we did get our priorities straight, and thankfully, ate our Indian tacos first thing! They are made with a base of fry bread, then some beans, taco meat, salsa, cheese, lettuce - not sure what else, but they are yummy. We ran to the car in the rain, stopped by Culver's for some ice cream, and, of course, had alot of fun and laughs just being together.

Energy!

Yesterday I accompanied some friends over to Leroy to attend an intertribal pow wow. The weather was absolutely perfect! We traveled the "back" way (Route 9) so that we could look up close and personal at part of the wind farm - how beautiful! These huge machines are magical to me. I know they are providing much needed energy, but to me they just seem like synchronized, beautiful dancing women. These pictures aren't real close, but if you click on them, they "grow" (the pictures) and you can see the wind machines better. All in all it was a fun day - great weather, great fellowship, a few treasures to be found, some great fry bread to eat, and more learned about our native American friends and their traditions.

Fun time!

This is my youngest nephew, Apollo. He and his twin sister are 3. He came over for some "Aunt Debbie" time today after work. His first question was, "is Tanner here?". I tell you, it's starting to give me a complex - ha! Apollo is into drums. We had a parade, he discovered a backscratcher and a plastic pail make a great drum set, he took two mallets and drummed on the djembe, and, as you can see, banged some on the set that goes with whatever video game that is. We had alot of fun. He, like his siblings before him, ate nothing but junk - popsicle, tootsie rolls, Cheetos, and watched Spongebob Squarepants. He also watched Thomas the Train. Good stuff. After a few hours, though, he decided he was pretty tired and ready to go home, so I loaded him back up and away we went. In the next couple days, his twin will come over, and then we'll be back to the beginning of the list for having "Aunt Debbie" time individually. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it - and you know, I LOVE it!

Fixing!

Fixers - I am one. There are alot of us out there (you know who you are!). I don't just try to fix myself, I try to fix everything for everyone. I want everyone to be at peace and happy and well adjusted, so I just keep stewing about what I can do to help each and every one of you come to the place that everything is well and good....according to me. Hmmmmm. What if my "fixing it" for you, is just really underneath it all, making it "bearable" for me? Isn't it true that our society is one of the few that is sooooo uncomfortable with grief, with mourning, with sorrow - so much so that we seldom just sit still and let trials have their work in us? Ewwww! I'm fidgeting in my chair just saying that! While all my fixing and suggesting and re-arranging and planning what I can do to butt in, er help, you is well intentioned and with your best interests at heart, the thought just recently occurred to me that sometimes our lives have to become uncomfortable - for us to grow, to learn, or just because that's how life is. We'd never change anything if we were completely comfortable where we are. Our attention in the massage world is often drawn to this fact: we can't be a vessel for healing for others, if we're clogged up and unmaintained and untaken care of ourselves. Wow - that puts all the responsibility back on me to take care of myself and "fix" my issues first - then see if I can help others, eh? It seems like I've discussed this issue before - that is, my tendencies to try to make everything better for everyone. Once again, I think I'll try to set a boundary and decipher what's my responsibility and what's not. When our Native friend Rowena lived with us, I used to try to get her to side with me in "discussions" with my boys, and she would always very wisely say, "sorry - that's not my business". Maybe I'll try to take those words to heart a little more and stop trying to assist everyone so much in their journey while concentrating more on my own!

Letting Go

Letting go - it's more than just "setting aside" in order to pick up later. It's different than "I'll get back to that after while". It's stopping or dropping something...maybe forever. What a hard concept for me to embrace. Whether it's letting go of a habit that no longer serves my lifestyle, letting go of a tight grasp on children who are now grown, letting go of a relationship that's no longer healthy for my emotional life, or letting go of the way things have been done in the past to make way for new avenues - it all seems unsettling. In alot of my media connections i.e., massage magazines, blog postings, catalogs, etc., I see tools to assist in "letting go" such as essential oils to wear to help you let go and envision your life without the "released" object, candles to light with the intention of symbolizing the object being gone as the candle burns down, etc., etc., so it must be an area that is difficult for others besides me. The truth is that sometimes we have to let go of some things in order to make room for new ones - we can't continue to do things the old way, if we want to grow and let new things come in. I am quite a creature of habit and find this something I have to really focus on and pay attention to, if I want to move on. If we continue to take on more and more and never let go and move on from anything, we'll be so bogged down, it'll be hard to move at all! So why is it so hard? Isn't it a part of life - lots of things are temporary, so why is it so scary when those things are gone? And why is it so incredibly difficult to make myself let go of things....anything! I don't know. Maybe it just feels secure and safe to be in the same place doing the same things all the time. But I'm beginning to pay better attention to the fact that, at least ever once in awhile, I have to stop and evaluate and see what I need to let go of in order to move on.

Bummer!

Yesterday I got a speeding ticket. Arghhhhh! I was going 57 mph. Pretty good, eh? Especially since I thought the speed limit on that road was 55. However, come to find out, it's not - it's 45 mph. The policeman was very nice and polite, and, in my estimation, once he found out my mistake, could have given me a warning - but he didn't. Nope, he gave me a full blown, $75 ticket. Now, I realize that I was speeding, but to me it was a lesser offense because I was under the assumption of a false truth - that the speed limit was higher than it is (who makes a 5 lane road with no houses on it 45 mph?). Then my next thinking pattern was that I didn't deserve this speeding ticket because I try to be nice to everyone and do nice things, so nice things (like receiving a warning instead of a ticket) should come back to me. Why, that very day one of my clients had accidentally given me an extra $20 stuck in with her payment and I ran her down in the parking lot and gave it back to her. The whole reason I was on this road yesterday was because I was giving someone a ride who needed one. I could go on and on, telling you of all my wonderful deeds, (ha!) but I'm sure you get the point. The bottom line is that both my ways of thinking were incorrect. I was speeding - like it or not, the ticket is my consequence to my wrong behavior. I do still believe in the principle of reaping what you've sown - that apparently just doesn't mean you get out of your consequences.