Goodbye 2009

One more post for 2009. Doesn't seem possible, does it? Today several of my friends and I went to lunch, a movie, and back to a home to play games and eat snacks. We went to see that house in Normal where a high school boy set out all those Christmas lights in the front yard and synchronized them to music on his own radio channel. It was amazing. What a show! Now here's wishing all of you a prosperous, healthy, and peaceful 2010. May we all learn more about our purpose and true calling here on this earth next year. May we all tune back into our dreams and follow them to fruition. Here's to a great new year - let's all set our intentions for it to be a wonderful one!

New Beginnings

I have been thinking about my life and where I want to be at this time next year. Of course, that's kind of a natural thing to do, what with New Year's around the corner, I guess. I've been pondering New Year's resolutions from the past and how successful (or unsuccessful) they were, as well as what things are actually "reappearing" on my list each year! I'm wondering why I have it in my head that I have to do these "new" things or changes at the beginning of the year, and why I think if I fail, it's over. Can't I "resolve" to start again even if it's in the middle of the year? What's the magic or mystery of the new year? I don't know. Maybe it's a way for me to put off what I know I need to do by saying, I'll do that at the beginning of the new year. Or maybe it gives me some time to think about what I'm actually resolving to do. Whatever the case, this next year is requiring some changes from me. I would love to say they'll be easy and natural transitions; however, my head tells me that is a little too naive even for my thoughts. In the end, all I can do is set my goals, plan out some steps to accomplish my goals, and I think this year, even if I fail at some time, I'm going to make new resolutions, even if in the middle of the year. Change doesn't come easy for this old girl!

Snow!

After sleeping in late this a.m., I've just been sitting around, eating a doughnut, enjoying some of my new capuccino from my stocking, and looking at this - lots of snow. For the past 22 years or so, I've lived in houses that were very close to major highways where the snow was removed very quickly. Now that I live in a subdivision in Pekin, I find that I have not even seen or heard a snow plow since the flakes began. Apparently, either Pekin doesn't clean its streets of snow, or my subdivision is like one millionth on the list??? I'm not sure which, but either way, my car sits so close to the ground, I'm sure the snow is deeper than my car. Hmmm. I have much I can do inside, so that's the kind of day it will be. The snow is so beautiful, one can hardly be aggravated about it. I know it's hard for traveling, but otherwise, I think it sometimes causes our oober (is that how you spell that word the kids are saying?) mobile society to stop in its tracks and take a minute to ponder, to rest, to relax. We need that once in awhile. So sit back, snuggle under a blanket, watch some football, read a book - whatever you do to just chill and enjoy the day!

Eggrolls!

Eggrolls...yummy. Presents...wonderful. Playing a game and laughing until we all were crying...absolutely priceless. Yep - that's just how good our Christmas was.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, everyone. Enjoy your get togethers and celebrations, remembering always the reason we celebrate is God's love for us. For at least this season, may we set aside ourselves and love unselfishly as He does.

Christmas Week!

Everything is so exciting - it's in the air, isn't it? Even with all the drama of life, the unexpected hard things, the trauma of being in Walmart during the holiday season (ha!), the stress of trying to make sure it all happens when it needs to, I love Christmas. I love the Christmas story - the awesomeness of God's plan, the willingness of Mary and Joseph to comply, the utter faith of Mary in God's ability to do the impossible. Whatever little gifts or tokens of kindness and love I can give to my family and friends, pale in comparison to God's love and gift to us. God, I believe, is particularly fond of each one of us, and this is a wonderful time of year to reflect on that very fact. Sit and bask in the reality of His love and have a very merry Christmas.

Here it is!

Here it is - that last few days countdown to the main event - Christmas! By this time, I'm scurrying around, wrapping and baking exactly what I need to get through today and then tonight I start on tomorrow's "have to have" list - oh, it's so fun! Once in awhile something throws a clinker in the ring, like something I ordered didn't arrive, or something obviously is not going to fit that person (sorry, Tan - you've lost alot more weight than I thought!), but on the whole, when we get to this point, it is fun, fun, fun! I so enjoy giving gifts and imagining how each person is going to like their stuff. Sometimes I think I enjoy the giving more than the person doing the getting! Now all we need is for the weather to cooperate while everyone works tomorrow, then it's off to cooking at mom's on Thursday, resting on Friday, homemade egg rolls with the kids on Saturday! Whew! It promises to be a fun and love filled weekend! I can't wait!

Confusion

Just when I think I have my life all figured out, planned out, and ready to go...something occurs that makes me pause and think..hmmmm..do I really have any of this under control? It's so very easy to look to other people and things for a place to sort of hang the responsibility - you know, if this person had just done this or not done that, then this would have gone another way, and on and on and on. But the truth is, this life is uncertain. Circumstances change, things have to be done a different way, some of this has to stop and more of that has to happen. Life is just forever changing - morphing, if you will, into whatever it's decided it will become for us. I like it so much better when I'm in control of things - I feel much safer that way. Unfortunately (or fortunately) my life seems very seldom to allow me to be in control of it. I think as I get older, I resist change a little and I seem less able to "go with the flow". I am trying harder to recapture that attitude of being more flexible, less rigid and, dare I even say it myself out loud, less stubborn? Eww! Tonight I am re-evaluating, prioritizing, and trying to generally be a little more fluid with the changes life is throwing at me.

Out in Public

People are so rude. Do I even need to write a blog about it? Today I had the distinct privilege of having to finish up my Christmas shopping; and, unfortunately, since we also have to eat on other days besides the holiday gatherings, I had to pick up some groceries. I was just taken aback by the way some people behave in public. They pull out in front of you in their cars, run into you with their carts, never smile, and do obnoxious things in the checkout line that make everyone have to wait - we had to wait today because one lady went over to the ATM machine after the cashier had rung up all her groceries to get cash to pay for her purchases. Everyone has tunnel vision - they're on a mission and that mission is to get done what they need and want to get done in the smallest amount of time possible, no matter how it effects anyone else. Sad. Anyway, I know we're all busy and much is happening and everyone's schedule is tighter than tight. But I, for one, do not want to let the joyous bustle of preparing for the enjoyment of sharing the holidays turn into crabby bah humbug behavior. Remember, this is really a time of rejoicing and thanksgiving for God's gift to us. We're thankful to have family and friends to share with, and really, it's just an extra added blessing that we're all able to purchase gifts for one another. Keep your smiles - enjoy the season!

Drumming Circle Night!

Tonight drumming circle was at my house. We included a white elephant gift exchange and numerous snacks in honor of the upcoming Christmas holiday. It was so much fun - the drumming, the presents, the eating - just the fun of being together. We shared information, talked about drumming and pow wows, alternative health care - all kinds of subjects. My house was filled with love and laughter and tons of positive energy. It almost feels like there is a source of strength, support, and comfort in our being together. Anyone is welcome - come join us! We meet monthly, and I have extra drums and shakers - all kinds of music makers.

Countdown!

Well..here we go. Only one more week until a million things have to be done. I still have a few items to cook, some presents to buy, everything to wrap, a few new ornaments to put on the tree, a few cards to find and put on presents, food lists to make and prepare. Somewhere in there, the house needs to be cleaned, dishes washed, and laundry done. Oh yeah, and I do have a job, too. However, in the midst of all the preparations for a good holiday, I want to keep my heart soft and pliable, open to the one this holiday and celebration are really about. I don't want to lose sight of what all the celebrations and get togethers are actually in honor of. I want to remember the awesomeness of the event surrounding all the hoopla. And with that realization comes some prioritizing of the season - family and friends so trump presents and baked goods. More important is time together with those we love, sharing the goodness of God in our lives. May this last week before Christmas be filled with the love and light of God and our families and friends.

Over it

I try really hard to keep myself clear of emotional baggage. It's kinda hard to do - especially this time of year. I get tired, overbooked with activities, plan more than I can accomplish - you get the picture. Then my emotions kinda run amuck and it's ugly. What to do then? Today that sorta happened to me. I ran across a situation where some really old feelings and resentments surfaced - so old that it surprised me. I felt justified in my feelings, yet at the same time, I felt really yukky. Shouldn't I be completely over this miscarriage of justice? Shouldn't I have moved on past this? I thought I had, yet here were these ugly, horrible feelings that had surfaced without any summoning from me, which usually indicates that something hasn't been completely dealt with. Hmm. I guess the best thing to do is to deal with the feelings as best I can as they come up instead of stuffing them back down, then hope this round will be the last time I run into them. I think it will surely help also, if I taste test the fudge I just made!

Addictions

Yesterday morning on the radio I heard an interesting piece of information..basically the gentleman was saying that they have discovered (whoever "they" is) that any kind of addiction produces much the same result in our brains. Now that's not to say that some of the substance addictions don't cause additional physical reactions to their own stimuli, but the point here was that whatever addictions we have (and I do believe almost every person has some sort of one), whenever we engage in that addiction no matter what it is, there is a response in our brains. I personally believe we all use our addictions to cope or feel better about ourselves, but I guess I didn't realize it actually caused a reaction in our brains (you know - my brain on menopause has been reactive enough!). It's hard to believe that shopping or working or washing your hands for some people can cause the same stimulus to the brain that another person smoking or doing drugs can cause. How do we conquer these things or bring them out of the addiction realm and into normal use levels? I think we're back to renewing our minds with the Word of God and "unlearning" some of the things that we think are truths that really are not true in actuality. Do you know what you're addicted to? What you're using to cope or find comfort in your life? Is that item listed with your New Year's resolutions to get under control? Or does it matter? You might say that your addiction isn't a bad thing and you can keep on doing it - that it's better than some other harmful addictions. But for me, I want very much to own and control my own life and habits - not my habits and addictions controlling me. Here's to a new year of victory in that area!

Update

Here's a blog update for you all. I am trying to break old habits. I am setting new boundaries. I have not cleaned out my closet and unpacked the rest of the boxes, therefore I still do not have shoes to wear that are not Crocs. I fell off the diet wagon right away. I am trying very hard to remain positive in what appears to have become a predominantly negative world. I do have my Christmas tree and decorations out, I do not have my Christmas shopping done. Our shop is completely remodeled. I am still trying to figure out where the truth lies in the connection between my emotions and my heart of hearts thinking and my actual life. I am also working on my New Year's resolution/to do list. This is the time of year we think about God's gift to us. Let the awesomeness of that gift put our lives in perspective.

Celebrations!

December is a month of celebrations and partying for my family. Tan man's birthday, my brother Jim's birthday, and of course, Christmas. So tonight we celebrated Tan man and Jim's birthdays with dinner at Steve and Vicky's house. Good food, good fun - just being together. Family is very important, and as we all know, no one is guaranteed a certain amount of days here on this earth with our families and friends, so we need to appreciate and cherish each moment we do have. Here's a few pictures of the chaotic fun we always have. Happy Birthday, Jim and Tan man - may you both have a great year - the next 2 years will be BIG ones for one of you and then the other!

Cookie Day is Here!

Today was cookie day - the day when we all bring some recipes and bake together, then share the results with everybody taking some of each of the cookies home. It's always great fun, and this year was no exception. We made tons of cookies, had lunch together, and just generally had a good time. I don't think we had any cookies this year that were of "questionable" results, either - they were all great! It's always so fun to band together and work for one common goal - there's a kindred spirit there that's very comforting to share.

Oops!

First, may I just say I'm sorry to all of you whom my ignorance has effected. Sorry. I was so proud of myself for getting my Christmas cards all addressed and into the mail in a very timely manner this year. However, much to my chagrin a couple of people had said they had to pay postage due on my card - I just thought a couple of my stamps must have been old and fallen off. Imagine my surprise when I walked across the street to my mailbox this a.m. and found that one of the cards had been returned for insufficient postage. Now these cards are small - lightweight regular cards that I bought at the store - no homemade gadgets or anything. So, since I had to go to the post office anyway, I took said returned card with me to inquire. Wow! Imagine my surprise (which turned to horror as I realized I sent out about 50 of these) when she said, "oh, they're not too heavy - it's because it's square. Square cards don't fit in some of the machines, so they get kicked out. Therefore, you have to put 20 extra cents postage on them". Oh my goodness. The envelopes didn't say extra postage due like those big birthday cards you can buy. I was completely ignorant and in the dark regarding this post office rule - I honestly thought it went by weight - certainly not by shape. And so for my ignorance, and your subsequent cost of 20 cents to get my Christmas card out of hock, I sincerely apologize! Learn something new everyday, eh?

Christmas is Coming!

I'm so excited..yet so behind! I don't have my shopping finished, I don't have my baking done, I don't have my house cleaned up...the list goes on and on. But my absolute most favorite time of the year is Christmas, so I'm determined not to let anything or anyone make me sad during this time. My stitches come out tomorrow, cookie baking day is Saturday, birthday party on Sunday, yada, yada, yada. I did have to come to some compromises with myself in order to even have a slight hint that I could pull everything off, though. I hated to do it, but I had to. I am a person who loves to buy a present (even if it be ever so small) for everyone I've ever known - ok not quite that bad, but just about. So this year, I've had to cut back on my purchases. Ok. Then it got cold and I ran out of time, so I only decorated inside the house - wanted to decorate outside, but couldn't pull it off this year. I love to have people over, but really didn't have room for my whole extended family in our new house, so I let my mom host our family Christmas Eve dinner. It appears that I can still enjoy the holidays without being in complete control and without getting to do every little thing I desire. Hmmm...what a thought. Christmas might be an attitude of the heart - not circumstances being exactly like we want them.

Moving On

Isn't change hard? It seems to me that there is a sense of security in things always being the same - having the same job, the same friends, eating the same things at the same restaurant. And yet, it appears that life is not always like that - things change. The thought had never occurred to me until lately that change is also necessary in relationships. Sometimes I just try and try and try to make something work out when, now, I realize, it could just be that the time for that person in my life is over. Hard for me to grasp, but it seems that it might be true. When a relationship is no longer a positive addition to my life, when it causes more aggravation, or takes more than it gives, perhaps it's time to move on. And, for the first time in my life, I'm considering that this could be a good happening.

The Secret

Have you read that book or watched that video? It's an interesting theory regarding how things come into our lives and the control we have over it. Now I'm not here to say I believe or don't believe the whole thing, but I do believe there's a measure of truth in what's being said here. And, this isn't the first place I have heard this strand of thinking. If you aren't aware, basically (as I understand it) it's a theory based on believing that whatever we truly deep down in our subconscious heart of hearts believe, is what we build in our lives. The Bible says, as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. Other people say it other ways, but I think the bottom line here is that our lives are at least to some extent governed by what we tell it to believe as truth. I was reading one of my massage magazines this month and an article by Rita Woods titled "Get Happy About Something" caught my eye. She says it this way. "Because how you feel dictates more than the mood you are in. It calls what comes to you." There it is again - the thought that what comes into my life was called there by my feelings or true beliefs. Interesting. Rita goes on to encourage us to evaluate this past year by asking questions and seeing where we would like to go from here into the next year. Questions such as, "What worked for me?", "When did I love?", "What made me happy?", What were my good (or bad) choices?", "What caused stress?" and several others. Just a thought as we approach the end of the year - try to tap into what your "self talk" may be saying and creating or calling into your life. Might be interesting what you find.

Tanner's 23!

Last Friday was Tanner's birthday - he's 23 - hard to believe. We had pizza and cherry cheesecake tonight after going out to hear my niece's band play in Peoria last night. It's so fun to see my kids grown up into functioning adults - being together and watching out for each other. It's just such a reminder of how important family really is. We have had some rough times over the years, but we've always stuck together - we've always had each other for support and encouragement, and that's made a huge difference in my life, and, I would like to believe, in their lives also. Happy 23rd, Tan man - may God bless you with many more happy and prosperous years. We all love you.

Accident

Well, no one could have foreseen it - one of those freaky, flukey happenings that occurs for no apparent reason at no certain time and to random people - rarely happens to me, but it appears that today was my day. There was nothing exciting happening, nothing out of the ordinary. Mal and I were in the kitchen, I was popping popcorn for our open house tomorrow and Mal was putting away the clean dishes from the dishwasher. The next events, while they seemed to happen in slow motion, I am relatively sure only took seconds. Mal was over by the cupboards, I stepped back, not realizing the dishwasher door was open, ran into said door, lost my footing and fell flat on my rear, on top of the dishwasher door, (breaking it) and my head snapped back, hitting the latch hook with a bang. Lots of blood, $207 at the doctor's office, and 3 stitches later, I was back home, wondering how in the world that all happened. Good news is I'm fine - a little headache, a little soreness, but it'll all be a distant memory soon. And, as is the Moldenhauer fashion, we had quite a few laughs along the way, which I'm sure will be relived everytime we tell the story.

Attitude

This picture is of my youngest son, Tanner - Tan man, we call him. This entry isn't really about him, but today is his 23rd birthday, and it was because of that event I began to think about attitudes once again. I went to a certain store yesterday to purchase one of the things on Tan man's birthday/Christmas list. I, of course, know nothing about the item I'm purchasing, so I have it written down on my little paper, word for word, so that I can just accost a sales person immediately and make them lead me to it. Add to that, of course, as usual, I'm in a hurry. I pull into the parking lot (which, by the way is not real large), to find that almost all of the parking spots are taken. There are a few way far away from the door, or 2 on either side of a van. I can't pull into either of these 2 spots, though, because this is the scene there. There is a younger couple outside the van with screaming children in the van, ALL the doors are open and extending into the parking places on either side of them, while the couple is cleaning what appears to be a million old McDonald's sacks and cups out of the van, all the while complaining because they can't find a garbage can outside the store to deposit their garbage in. Are you kidding me? Close your doors, shut your mouth, hush your children, and take your garbage home, you're taking up 3 spots - that's what I really honestly wanted to say. But instead I parked in one of those farther away spots, muttering to myself about rude people and went in the store. Now, I find, I get to stand in line for awhile waiting for the next available sales person. So by this time, I have to admit, my attitude wasn't probably as pristeen as it could have been. However, what happened next will amaze you, as my attitude was completely chased out of my head and replaced with one of laughter. The sales clerk was a younger man and as I pulled out my handy dandy list and began to read word for word, letter by letter what I needed, he kinda grinned. I said, "I hope you know what that is". He replied that he did and disappeared into the back room and brought me out a box. What he said next changed my outlook for the whole rest of my day and obviously still today, as I'm smiling still while I'm writing this. He said something to the effect that my secret was safe with him. I was obviously confused as I gave him the "huh?" look and he said - I know you really play this game in secret and don't want anyone to know - to which we both started laughing at the ridiculous prospect. (oops - hope Tan man's not reading this!). Anyway, he was making a funny and it was just so refreshing. As I walked out the door, he hollered at me - "you have a good time with that now" and I laughed all the way to my car, having totally forgotten about the "van people". Anyway, the whole point to this story is twofold - #1 - I am so thankful that he helped pull me out of the funk I had let the "van people" put me in and #2 - I want to be more aware of the fact that of all the people I see everyday, some of them could have just encountered something like the "van people" and I could help re-birth their attitude to a more fun and positive one with just a quick little joke like the sales clerk did for me. I hope that boy has a Merry Christmas, as he reaps the benefits of the positive seeds of fun and laughter he sowed with me yesterday.

Christmas Stuff!

Yay! My decorations are almost done! I don't know if it's because we're in a different house this year or because I turned 50 - but for whatever reason, it's taken me parts of 3 days just to decorate for Christmas! All I have left is to put up a few outside things, hang the stockings and one more garland w/snowflakes and I'm calling it done. Every few years you have to go through absolutely every single decoration thing you have and test every single strand of lights to make sure they work (because somehow they all work when you put them in the closet at the end of the season, but the next year they don't anymore - how does that happen?), and this was that year. Man, do we have alot of stuff! If you know me, you know I am the queen of "stuff", and Christmas decorations are no exception. Add to that my fetish for penguins, and, well, suffice it to say there is an abundance of Christmas "stuff" at my house right now. Here's a few pictures of some of the finished areas. Hope I get a surprise visit from you over the season, so you can see my "stuff". It is December 1st, so the season has officially begun! Merry Christmas!

Connections

Yesterday I was told about a gentleman who graduated high school a couple years before me - that would make him approximately only 52 years old. He took his own life this past week. While he didn't live around here anymore, and I hadn't seen or heard of him for all these many years, the news still had quite an impact on me - unexpected, almost, the depth of the reaction. I experienced the same sort of feelings last year when a lady from our church, one whom I didn't even know except to recognize where she and her husband usually sat in the sanctuary, also took her own life. The thoughts in both scenarios came immediately to my mind...who was he/she close to? Couldn't someone have recognized or suspected that something was wrong - that they needed some guidance or intervention or whatever it was they needed? Didn't the Holy Spirit try to nudge someone in their lives to call or contact them somehow? And I know, people are reluctant to share those things with others, and everyone's busy and we're not really responsible for others...or are we? The question occurs to me that in this day of instant computerized communication, i.e. e-mail, facebook, twitter, etc., that it may be possible that we have somehow replaced real, true relationship and one on one face to face conversation with this new almost "superficial" method of relating and connecting to others? Now, I'm not bashing facebook or e-mailing or any of those methods of communication - I use them all the time. But what I am suggesting is that I'm afraid for some of us, that's all the interaction we have with others - if we're not on the computer, we're on the phone, texting, messaging. Is that what occurred in these two people's lives? We won't ever know. But it seems to me it would be alot easier to "put on a happy face" when no one is really seeing that face. For all our technological advances, let's not forget the value of true human contact, touch and interaction. You never know who might need it.

Tree day!

The day after Thanksgiving....our family holiday tradition (as often as we can and whoever can) is to go get the Christmas tree for my house. Now, we don't cut our own down, but we do get a real one. We usually take one of the boys' trucks down to Talbott's and pick out a tree. This year Barry had to work and Mal was sleeping from working last night and in preparation for working tonight, so Tanner, Brit and I went. Tanner was on a mission to find our perfect tree as quickly as was humanly possible, so we were only there about 5 minutes total, but we found a perfect tree - not too expensive, not too big for the living room, and relatively straight. We took it home and it now sits in its new home for the next 4 or 5 weeks, letting it's arms relax and waiting for the decorations to land on it this weekend. Then we ate a traditional Thanksgiving dinner (our traditional, at least) which includes turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, sweet potatoes, dressing (stovetop, in our case), our favorite broccoli casserole, madonna salad, crescent rolls, and pies - this year's choice included lemon meringue (Tanner's fave) and apple crumb pie with vanilla ice cream and homemade carmel sauce drizzled over (Brit's fave). Everyone took home leftovers, as we were too full to consume it all! I love having my children all here together for a meal. It is always truly a time to be thankful for.

Activity galore!

Wow - I've been so inundated with things to do, I haven't even had time to write here on my blog - which, by the way, has become a fun thing in my day to do. Even if no one reads my writings, it has kinda given me a little insight into what's stirring on my insides. Anyway, of course, the holidays are what's front and center on everyone's minds right now, and I'm no different. We also have alot of other things happening in our family right now, health wise and job (or shall I say jobless!) wise, so there's lots to be thinking about, organizing, analyzing, and just plain tending to. So even though most of us would say right now that our lives in one way or another are not what we consider ideal; i.e., we need a financial blessing, we need a healing physically (or emotionally), our children have needs - whatever it is - we still, I am confident, have many more things we can be thankful for. Here's a short general list to prod your memory: we live in America, where we can pretty much do and say whatever we want, including where and how and when we choose to worship God; we can see, we can hear, we can touch, we have food to eat, a place to live, friends and family to share with, cars to drive, computers to communicate on, clothes to wear - not only 1 coat for most of us or 1 pair of shoes, (except for me because I still haven't had time to pull everything out of that closet!) but several coats and shoes to pick from - the list goes on and on. We have so much to be thankful for, not the least of which, of course, we think of especially during this season of thankfulness, is God's gift to us through his son. May you all eat your fill tomorrow with thankful hearts, drinking in the euphoric feeling of breaking bread with family and friends, who are, as you know, priceless. Happy Thanksgiving!

A New Generation is Born!

Yesterday I had the distinct privilege of getting to meet, in person, Atticus Hudson Wendling, my new and first grand nephew, born this past Thursday to my niece, Amy and her husband, Matt. Atticus is perfect - little fingers and toes, a little turned up nose, and oh yeah - a little "cleft" in his chin, just like my brother (his grandpa!). This is a picture of my youngest son, Tanner, holding Atticus for the first time. He was all wrapped up like a Guatemalan burrito, and seemed to care not as we passed him around, welcoming him to our world and loving on him. It's amazing to think of how God already has a plan for this young precious life. I know they grow up really fast, so put on your seatbelt, Atticus, and enjoy the ride!

Sleepover!

We had a sleepover at our house last night - 7 children aged 8 and under along with myself, Mal, and Coral, Mal's friend (and mother of 3 of the sleepees!) There were three 2 year olds, a 4 year old, a 5 year old, a 7 year old, and an 8 year old. Holy cow, do these kids have energy. And can they eat! They had spaghetti, garlic bread, pizza, cookies, ice cream, more cookies, etc., etc., etc. But they also had a good time (I think!) They played bean bags and cars, they watched movies and cartoons. There's just something about children - they don't worry about where the food comes from - they just eat it. They don't wonder about how the tv works - they just watch it. Who had the money to buy toys for us to play with? That thought never crosses their mind - they just play. Life is much simpler for them - blankets and pillows became forts and buckets on their heads made them robots. How fun. How easy. Hope I can keep some of that (or get some of it back) as I age.

Thankfulness

This week I have heard of so much sadness from so many of my patients. There are so many people who are hurting and in very hard circumstances. Hearing their stories reminds me, especially as we enter this Thanksgiving season, to be so very thankful for my life, my family, my work...all the blessings I enjoy every single day with a relatively small amount of effort. I visited Guatemala a little over a year ago and was exposed to a whole different way of living. I came home from that trip extremely thankful for alot of things I hadn't thought about before..hot water, running water, refrigeration, stoves...but, to be perfectly honest, hot water kept coming to the top of the list - it now means alot to me. May we each go into next week remembering just how wonderful this life can be for us - how blessed we are - and may we search diligently for opportunities to be of assistance to those who, right now, are not experiencing those blessings currently.

Baby Atticus

Here he is - Atticus Hudson Wendling - my first grand nephew. Isn't he darling? 7 lbs. 14 oz., 20" long. Proud parents, Amy and Matt Wendling, proud grandparents, Jim Gardner and Toby Gardner, Proud great grandmother, Nola Gardner. Everyone is doing fine and we're all happy Atticus is here. The circle of life begins anew.

Sneak Peek

Here's a sneak peek at some of the renovations for Studio 4:13 and Soothing Moments Massage. Please come join us for an open house on Saturday, December 5th from 1:00 - 4:00 in the afternoon. You'll be able to experience and see firsthand our new serene, spa like environment while enjoying snacks, door prizes, etc. Gift certificates and retail items will be available for your holiday gift giving needs. Any questions, just call me at 208-8960. Hope to see you there!

It's coming together!

Finally - it seems like it has taken forever and yet in reality it happened really quickly. The salon where I rent space for my business has been renovated - yay! I'm down to putting things on the wall and bringing back the "decorative" things I took home for while we painted, put down the new floor, etc. It's been a huge undertaking (and my part was minute, but it still seems like a big upheaval!) Big thanks to all those who helped along the way - I couldn't have finished my part without you. It's funny the things you just kind of take for granted - my treatment rooms are all moved around and these first few days I have been stumbling around like it's my first days of doing massage! The funniest part is that at the very end, when we're done with the massage, I now seem to forget to unwrap people's feet from the hot towels - go figure! Who can figure that one out? I've blamed so much on hormones - maybe something shifted there in my memory organization - would that surprise anyone? I doubt it. Anyway, it really does look great and you owe it to yourself to come take a peek - especially if you saw the place before the renovation. I hear we'll be hosting an open house on Saturday, December 5 - stay tuned for times. It's amazing to me how one change, such as new floors, can make a place look completely different - even look a different size. It makes me wonder....could one small adjustment in my behavior make me a completely different "looking" person? Hmmm.....

Moving at a high rate of speed

That's my life - flying by, so to speak. I can't believe Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away - and you know what that means! Getting our Christmas tree, decorating for Christmas, planning get togethers, cookie day, etc., etc., etc. Whew! And it will fly by even faster as this next few weeks unfold - I know it will. Besides the busyness of the season, as you know, the salon where my business is located has undergone a huge renovation - I am not finished with my part of that yet, which adds to the chaotic atmosphere, but I am hoping to get my rooms finished asap - that will alleviate some stress and pressure, too. Amid all the upcoming excitement, I'm setting my intention now to enjoy the holiday season with friends and family, to help out others where I can, and to not let the demands of this upcoming time stress me out. It will pass so quickly and another year will be history - I want to enjoy it as I experience it - not look back and wish I would have done differently.

Crabby

Here's a picture of my niece - it kind of captures how I'm feeling lately. Yep - that's me - just kinda crabby. It's rather unlike me, so I've not been liking it too well. Sometimes it's hard to separate out whether I'm being crabby or just that as things change, I have to change, and I have to set boundaries - that's not always well received by the persons I'm setting boundaries with or myself for that matter! Change is not easy the older I get - used to be I loved change - change the furniture around, change this, change that - now I'm more liking things to be the same; i.e. "who moved that?" or "what do you mean we're doing it that way now?" At any rate, all of this is just circumstantial and I really do believe in my heart that my state of "crabbiness" (albeit perhaps partially hormonal!) is also a state of my mind - I don't have to react crabbily to things (is that a word?). It's a matter of staying tuned into what I'm thinking and listening to what my own mouth is saying - "did I just say that outloud?" It takes some effort, but I do believe that we have a certain amount of control over these things and the best place to start in my mind is being thankful to God for all the blessings I do have. I can't necessarily control how I feel, but I CAN control how I act, and eventually my feelings will fall into place. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Southern Living

Well, we're home from the south. What a trip. Things didn't work out quite like I had planned due to some serious illness, but nonetheless everyone will be ok and we made it. My dad's family is from the south, and I always feel so at home, so safe with these people who are so kind, so helpful, so genuinely interested in what you have to say. They stop what they're doing and talk to you and make you feel like they really do want to know the answers to what they're asking you. They'll do anything they can to make your stay more enjoyable. These are people who hug and kiss when they leave each other - where one of the owners is also one of the cooks is also one of the cleaning ladies, etc. etc. The food was amazing, of course, and tons of it - we could never finish it all at any meal. You could order anything fried in the world .... squash, zucchini, scallops, dill pickles, alligator, ocra - you name it, they can fry it and make it taste good, too. Speech takes on a slower drawl, but that doesn't mean they don't know what they're talking about. In fact, a couple of times they laughed at us - like when Tracey asked them "how their water was" - they thought she was a hoot; or when we commented that a man buying lots of fireworks must be having a party and he looked at us like that was just the normal amount of fireworks he buys everyday - doesn't need a party! Or when they couldn't believe we'd actually never been to a Civil War foundry. Shocking, I know! Life just moves a little slower down there, but these people seem happy - oh, they're tired and they work hard, but they're happy. The lake was beautiful and the weather was gorgeous. And by the way, for those of you wondering, the whirlpool was an oversized bathtub with jets, and the BP across the street? Well let's just say don't expect to pay at the pump over there!

Road Trip!

Tomorrow, bright and early, my two friends and I are embarking upon what promises to be the trip of a lifetime. We are traveling by car, lots of hours, to Cedar Bluff, Alabama. Quite a story as to why we're heading there, but suffice it to say this is a short weekend of relaxation, so we needed to go somewhere where they move (and talk) a little slower. Our motel is on a lake, so we anticipate walking and enjoying nature, and just doing nothing. I have already been laughing and laughing, enjoying the phone conversations I have had with the staff there, so I'm sure we will have stories galore after this adventure. Next weeks' blogs will, I am confident, be full of stories of laughter, mishaps, and adventure...assuming we even find the place! Check it out online if you'd like at www.thelighthousemotel.com.

Painting

The painting is done! At least my part. And here's the wisdom this "freshman painter" (that's what my daughter in law calls me!) has learned. It's not as hard as it appears; not everyone paints the same; people with short arms and bellies that stick out should use a roller with a long handle; you should lock a door that you're standing behind painting; painting over a cobweb - not so good; it all looks totally differently when it dries; painting is a fun chore when done with others - there's laughing, story telling, and bonding of people together. There's quite a feeling of accomplishment to look around a room and see the total transformation. The next step for us is new flooring..that will be done by professionals, which doesn't include me. Then I'll have re-arranging, sewing of new curtains, etc. to do - that will be fun, also. Now on to a fun birthday party for a friend of our family tonight. Life never slows down, eh?

Teach an old dog?

Can you? Teach an old dog a new trick? Depends on who the old dog is, eh? Well, the old dog is me, and the new trick is painting. Somehow for my 50 years of life, I have successfully avoided the job of painting. My mom always painted alot - in fact she seems to enjoy it. But I have never learned. So tonight, with the help of my friends and family, we did some painting at my business. There is a sense of accomplishment and comradery as we gaze at the cleanly painted golden khaki walls. And, in spite of just a few mishaps (such as when 1 year old Lincoln stepped in the paint pan with his itty bitty Nike tennis shoes), we all did fine. Thanks to those who could come help me - your patience with my questions was well appreciated. Stay tuned for more on the final product at the spa!

The Rez Sisters

My friends Judy and Marilea (pictured here) took me to a play last night at Illinois Wesleyan. Marilea really does have eyes - they're just closed in this picture - ha! Anyway, the play was called The Rez Sisters and it was about the plight of the Native American Woman in today's America. Of course, Wesleyan doesn't sport a large native population, so the ladies in the play were not native, but we used our imaginations. As I thought about the point to the play, it occurred to me that all women have the same "plight" if you will - some seem to have more susceptibility to fall into patterns of poverty, abuse, etc., but overall we all could be faced with the same difficulties. I am extremely blessed to live in the midwest, having the freedom to run my own business and my own life (and my children's lives when they let me - just kidding!), but you understand my point - I live in a place and in such a way that I have opportunities that many native American women just don't have. The other thought I derived from the play was that even though these 7 women did some fighting and arguing, in the end they were all sisters of such - held together by a common bond of a need for survival. One of the most enjoyable parts for me was that the background for the play was all drums - the program explained that they were using African drums - just like the one Karen got for her birthday (yesterday's blog post) only 100 times larger - and boy, could those women play! They were amazing. Don't know - there's something about the beat of these drums...keeps coming to me over and over again from different sources...might be important in some way????

My cousin turns 50!

This past Thursday my cousin turned 50. It was an event to celebrate, so we gathered as many of our girl cousins and aunts as were currently not under the weather and had a luncheon. We laughed, we ate, we talked, we ate, we discussed things, we ate...you get the picture. We also participated in a spontaneous drumming circle - it was great fun! We found that we are a family that possesses great rhythm and that there is a little music in us all. Congratulations Karen - may the next 50 be the best ever!

The Village

Currently my life is spewing chaos at a ginormous rate of speed and in all, yes I do mean ALL, directions. All the cliche's come to mind - you know, "when it rains it pours", "if it's not one thing, it's another", etc., etc. Constantly note writing so I don't forget something, and constantly giving my life and schedule over to God for His support and re-vamping, if He sees fit is now the norm. Remember when Hillary Clinton said it takes a village to raise a child? Well, I'm here to tell you it is taking a village to tend to my life right now, and extremely luckily for me - I have a village. Who is in my village you ask? My friend who ran to the store for me, my friend who brought me boxes to pack with, my daughter who did the dishes for me, my brother who spent all day taking pictures of my girls jumping out of an airplane, so I could just watch (and pray!), my friend who's coming to help me pack up my shop, and the list goes on and on and on. You people are my village - the ones who know when I can't possibly fulfill it all and you stand in the gap for me. Thank you. All I can say, is that when life pours on you, make sure you call me - because I want to be a part of your village, too.

Facelift!

Soothing Moments Massage (my business) and Studio 4:13 (the salon where my business is located) are getting a facelift! Bekah, the owner of Studio 4:13 is remodeling the whole unit (which includes my 2 rooms) with new paint, new flooring and a couple of new rooms. Studio 4:13 will be expanding their services to include facials and full body waxing. I will be adding facial massage, a foot treatment, a hand treatment, a scrub, and a skin tightening treatment specifically for those who have lost weight and have loose skin as a result. It's very exciting. And it will allow us to better provide the spa type services that people need. The atmosphere will switch from one of a "home town salon" to more of an "upscale spa" - a higher end offering of the services which cause us to say, "Calgon, take me away!" Work will be continuing for approximately another couple weeks, so bear with us, but after that, stop by and see the new renovation. New services will be available the first of the year. Hope to see you soon.

Too much giving?

Once upon a time after a kingsize trauma occurred in my life, I went to see a counselor. Now, I LOVE counselling - I wish I had the money, I'd go all the time. I think everyone should see a counselor - a good one, of course. Anyway, I digress. He pointed out to me something that floated back towards the front of my brain in the past few days. He told me that one of the problems with my situation (back then and probably some of them now) was that I didn't know when it was ok to back off. Hmmm. Is that ever Christianlike? I wasn't sure. He explained it like this. He said I give 100% to my job, situation, relationship - whatever it was we were discussing. Then the other side of the relationship (let's just say for ease of example) doesn't give 100% back. So a healthy person at that point would stick with their giving of the 100% or maybe even back off a little bit. But what does Deb do? She increases her level of giving and now gives 125% and somehow expects that giving extra will entice the other side to give her more. And you guessed it, when that doesn't happen, she gives 150%, thinking again that surely the other side will recognize her dedication and loyalty and will respond more favorably. When that still doesn't happen, she keeps giving at a ridiculous rate, but starts to get resentful. Hmmm. She never knows when it's ok to set a boundary and say, I'm giving my 100%, but I'm not overgiving since I'm not getting back from this relationship what I should. So what does that all mean? What I've decided as I've re-pondered this information lately is that God, indeed, is ok with my setting healthy boundaries that allow me to give what I should, expect to receive what I should, and when I don't, He's ok with my pulling back some and perhaps avoiding the nastiness of resentment in my soul. If I can accomplish this task, I believe my life will be healthier, happier, and just all around better.

Skydiving Day!

Today was the day..my daughter, Mallory, and my daughter in law, Brittany, along with 2 of their friends, jumped out of an airplane - they went skydiving. It was a beautiful day (a little chilly for us watching), and everyone did great. As you can see, the boys weren't too worried about the girls crashing and burning! It was a really fun thing to watch. and the girls said it was actually an indescribable feeling. Here's a few pictures - my brother Jim came and took lots and lots of pictures, so I'm sure we'll be seeing some more soon.