CSI Miami

Did anyone happen to see CSI Miami last night? I usually don't watch much tv, but since I had been working on wedding projects all day, I ended up folding laundry in the living room last evening. Anyway, in this particular episode, a girl was bullying several of her classmates horribly and when she ends up dead, she's hated by so many, the mystery is to find out who killed her. Turns out (quit reading here if you've drv'd it and not watched yet) the parents of two of the students she was so awful to, ended up being her killers. Several thoughts came to mind after watching this show, not the least of which was the way the parents lied and had to be tricked into telling the truth of what happened. But besides that, it brought so many thoughts to mind about how we can be "coerced" if you will, by circumstances or others to do things so out of our character. I have a friend who says it this way - "everyone has a price - find out what matters the most to them and threaten it, then you have them". I know what my thing is - not going to tell you in case you try to get me to do something bad for you - lol! What is it in your life that could cause you to be forced to act out of your character? Hmmm...hope we never have to find out for sure!

Another year older

Drum circle girls at Conklin Dinner Theatre. Great food, laughs, and a good play.

Karen at Conklin - her first visit!

Judy Green, me and Tracey at Conklin - we sat on the other side of the table. So we could talk - nah, so we could hand each other the food we needed!

Cake and cupcakes at Barry and Britt's new house - notice the 5 candles on one side and the 2 on the other side - clever, eh?

Oops! Tanner laughs and blows one out ahead of me!

Tanner brought a video of the talent show at his school with one of his students this past week.

Patrick, being the good and wise fiance', ate one of the cupcakes Mal made - unfortunately, he chose one with black frosting!

Cooper was a chewing!

So was Drake!

McDonald's on a Saturday afternoon! Yes, Tan man, your cup did make it in the picture!

Vicky, Emma, and Mal.

Tanner and Apollo playing with...

Maria!

Here's Emma and her happy meal toy!

It's so funny - I hear myself saying things my grandmother and mother have said for years - and to be honest, of course, I didn't get it back then. I just kinda chuckled and listened, but now I know what they meant. I don't feel older - in fact when you speak of people in their 50's I think of my mom and my aunts - but they're in their 70's now and I'm in my 50's - how did that happen so fast? Oh, I've noticed some changes, of course, but I don't think like I'm 50. It's just very weird to me how that all happens. Well, yesterday, it did happen to me again, and here's a few pictures of the fun I had during my birthday week. Drumming circle girls took my to Conklin, the kids had me over for desserts and pool, my family had a party at McDonald's for all us February birthdays, and lots of people sent me well wishes via mail, e-mail, and facebook. I am, indeed, blessed with many friends and neighbors in my life. Here's a few pictures to let you "live the moments" with me. Enjoy!

Talent Show!

Above are a couple pictures of Sam - he is one of the students in the department where Tanner works at Pekin High School. Tonight there will be a talent show - can you guess who Sam is going to be? Yep! He's Elvis - complete with sideburns and everything. He and Tanner worked on a routine to one of Elvis' songs - "I Can't Help Falling in Love With You" - Sam picked it out himself. Good luck, Sam - and above all, have fun!

Year for Boundaries

If you're even remotely familiar with me, you know boundaries are not my strong suit. I don't know if it's my age (getting higher again this week - how could it be that time again?) or that prayer I prayed to really change some things this year (instead of useless resolutions that in my own strength I can never accomplish), but this seems to be the year. I'm seeing boundaries and their purposes and benefits so much clearer now. I've even set a couple. At first it felt really weird and really wrong - after all, I've had none for fifty, well let's just say I've pretty much not had any my whole life. But now I see - boundaries are necessary for all our mental health. It is exhausting not to have any and feel like you always have to take on the whole world. Oh - we people without boundaries don't perceive it that way - we think we're just helpful people, and to some extent we are. It's in my personality. I've never had a sense that I am responsible just for myself. Any needy child within a 20 mile radius (for example) becomes mine - lol! Again, being kind and reaching out are not bad qualities - but when it overruns your life and you now are just jumping through everyone else's hoops, it's time for a change. And this year is mine. I'm going to make some changes. Have you ever read the poem "Life in Five Short Chapters" by Portia Nelson? I've pasted it here for you to read - I love it! My adventure in setting boundaries (along with a few other situations in my life) is captured here in this poem. Change is hard, but necessary for growth.

Life in Five Short Chapters

CHAPTER 1

I walk down the street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
And I fall in.
I am lost. I am helpless. It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

CHAPTER 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It takes a long time to get out.

CHAPTER 3

I walk down the same street and there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there, and still I fall in.
It's a habit.
But my eyes are open and I know where I am.
It is my fault and I get out immediately.

CHAPTER 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

CHAPTER 5

I walk down a different street.

By Portia Nelson

What?

After visiting numerous dress shops and spending literally hours at my computer looking at formal dresses for women my size (nope - not telling you!) I am completely and utterly confused, frustrated, and discouraged. Of course, being the multi-tasker that I drive myself to be, the good news is that I'm printing programs while I'm subjecting myself to this utter torture. Several thoughts continue to run through my mind as I look at dress after dress after dress from company after company after company in size after size after size in color after color after color. First of all - "who would pay that much money for 1 piece of clothing?"! Next, "everyone would need sunglasses if I wore something that bright!"! And finally, "really, who would do that to a fat girl?"! The things I have seen are unbelievable. Now I'm not here to get into a discussion about weight and size and all that, but seriously, do they just think if you're larger sized you only wear black, bright red, or bright purple - c'mon! This has seriously been quite an adventure - if you want to see what I end up with (and eventually I will end up with something appropriate), you'll have to come to the wedding - as of today, I don't even know what that will be!

Pressure!

Wow - it's amazing what pressure, aka stress, can do to us, isn't it? It effects our health, our emotions, our attitudes - just to name a few. As we are all under massive amounts of time deadlines, financial stresses, planning and organizing chaos, etc., etc., here at my house, the pressure, aka stress, is mounting, and we all deal with that differently. I've always kinda been amazed at how people seem to deal with grief and mourning totally differently and I've come to the conclusion that demands on our time, finances, and emotions (just to name a few) are the same - each person reacts differently. The key then, I assume, to maneuvering these waters safely, would be to understand that and perhaps overlook some things?? However, when does overlooking a moment when someone just "snapped" give way to excusing bad behavior and avoiding setting boundaries where needed? Hmmmm...food for thought - of course, you know I have been aforetohere (is that a word or did I just make it up? - I hope I made it up, because I LOVE making up new words!) accused of thinking a bit too much! Anyway, whether it's good stress (such as helping plan a wedding) or negative stress (such as grief at the passing of a loved one or financial difficulties), be aware that sometimes that extra added pressure can cause our "pots to boil over"! So breathe deeply, soak in these nicer temperatures and catch the bits of sun available, and try to "put a lid" on your pressure today! Enjoy!

Happy Birthday, Mal!

Here's Mal wearing one of her birthday gifts from one of her friends. You can't tell it in this picture, but that circular item between "Happy" and "Birthday" was flashing these bright lights. Fun. Even though things are more hectic and stressful than ever around our house, I wanted to take a moment to say Happy 27th birthday to Mal - I'm very honored to be your mom!

February - a busy month!

February has come around way too fast since last year - I guess I say that because my birthday is in February, so I'll be changing the digit of my age this month! We also have at least 8 or 9 more birthdays to celebrate in February plus Valentine's Day - whew! Good thing I don't have a special Valentine to lavish with gifts this year - lol! I used to buy little Valentine's gifts for my kids - they probably thought I was nuts! One year I remember I bought them each a red stuffed M&M character - how goofy is that! But I wanted to take each and every opportunity I had to let them know how much I loved them and how glad I was to be their mom. As they have gotten older, I don't give them silly presents or candy anymore, but I think they still know I love them and am very proud of each of them. If you don't have a special "significant other" this year to surprise with a valentine gift, maybe you could pick out someone who won't receive a special valentine this year and treat them to lunch or Starbuck's or something nice like that. I know from experience that those kind of surprises mean alot to the receiver, and make the giver feel pretty good, too. Happy heart month! Enjoy and spread the love around!

Put it out there!

I've often said it would be a great idea if we all just wore t-shirts that say what we want others to know, but for whatever reason, don't get to say. What would mine say right now? Oh, I might have several I'd switch out currently, but my main attire would probably say, "I'm doing the best I can". Somedays I might wear the t-shirt that says, "I need some credit and appreciation" or "I'm tired". Somedays my attire might announce, "I'm stressed" or "I'm scared". And, of course, I would have to have a t-shirt that said "I'm feeling silly" or "I love to laugh". I know that the "why" of how we act is not so simply dealt with, but I just have always believed if we had a little insight into why people act the way they do sometimes, we would have a little more compassion and be a little nicer. Not that we have to dwell on our misfortunes or seek to have a large amount of people show up at a pity party given by ourselves in our own honor - but that we'd just be a little kinder or more gracious. What do you think? If we all wore a shirt with our information of the day on it, how would that change our interactions with others? Would we stop and converse more (instead of all the electronic communication)? Would we reach out and give someone a needed pat on the back or a smile? I would like to suggest that we are all, in fact, wearing our "invisible" t-shirts and if we look and listen hard enough and long enough, we will begin to understand how people's lives have been shaped by their experiences. I'm not trying to make excuses for bad behavior - I just think it would be wonderful if people could stop judging each other and start being a little nicer. Let me know - on any given day, what might your t-shirt say?

More assembly!

Here we are - having a very spontaneous "favor assembly" day today. I am very thankful to everyone who has pitched in and helped me with wedding projects - a little laugher, a little pizza, and extra pairs of hands sure make the work go faster and easier!

Interruption in Life for Snow!

Well, I, like everyone else, have been snowed in. However, I have not been bored and actually wish some of you "bored" people would have been snowed in with me - I would have put you to work. The snow plow came through last night for the first time since this beautiful blanket of white arrived, and the driveway got shoveled (for the "severalth" time!) this morning and so I'm back to work this afternoon. However, I'm not caught up yet with all I'd like to have gotten accomplished at home. I really am one of the few people who actually love to be at home. Of course, I have so much wedding stuff going on and I love to bake and my house always needs cleaning or organizing, and I love to knit and make jewelry - I just hardly have time to work! So needless to say, I, unlike everyone else, am sad to see us venture back out into our "regular" existences. Here are some pictures (unfortunately, pictures never really capture the complete depth of the situation!) of what I saw out my windows the last couple days. Hope you are snug as a bug in a rug and warm as toast as this now turns to bitter cold in our area. If you get to still be snowed in - lucky you! Do something fun!