My cousin turns 50!

This past Thursday my cousin turned 50. It was an event to celebrate, so we gathered as many of our girl cousins and aunts as were currently not under the weather and had a luncheon. We laughed, we ate, we talked, we ate, we discussed things, we ate...you get the picture. We also participated in a spontaneous drumming circle - it was great fun! We found that we are a family that possesses great rhythm and that there is a little music in us all. Congratulations Karen - may the next 50 be the best ever!

The Village

Currently my life is spewing chaos at a ginormous rate of speed and in all, yes I do mean ALL, directions. All the cliche's come to mind - you know, "when it rains it pours", "if it's not one thing, it's another", etc., etc. Constantly note writing so I don't forget something, and constantly giving my life and schedule over to God for His support and re-vamping, if He sees fit is now the norm. Remember when Hillary Clinton said it takes a village to raise a child? Well, I'm here to tell you it is taking a village to tend to my life right now, and extremely luckily for me - I have a village. Who is in my village you ask? My friend who ran to the store for me, my friend who brought me boxes to pack with, my daughter who did the dishes for me, my brother who spent all day taking pictures of my girls jumping out of an airplane, so I could just watch (and pray!), my friend who's coming to help me pack up my shop, and the list goes on and on and on. You people are my village - the ones who know when I can't possibly fulfill it all and you stand in the gap for me. Thank you. All I can say, is that when life pours on you, make sure you call me - because I want to be a part of your village, too.

Facelift!

Soothing Moments Massage (my business) and Studio 4:13 (the salon where my business is located) are getting a facelift! Bekah, the owner of Studio 4:13 is remodeling the whole unit (which includes my 2 rooms) with new paint, new flooring and a couple of new rooms. Studio 4:13 will be expanding their services to include facials and full body waxing. I will be adding facial massage, a foot treatment, a hand treatment, a scrub, and a skin tightening treatment specifically for those who have lost weight and have loose skin as a result. It's very exciting. And it will allow us to better provide the spa type services that people need. The atmosphere will switch from one of a "home town salon" to more of an "upscale spa" - a higher end offering of the services which cause us to say, "Calgon, take me away!" Work will be continuing for approximately another couple weeks, so bear with us, but after that, stop by and see the new renovation. New services will be available the first of the year. Hope to see you soon.

Too much giving?

Once upon a time after a kingsize trauma occurred in my life, I went to see a counselor. Now, I LOVE counselling - I wish I had the money, I'd go all the time. I think everyone should see a counselor - a good one, of course. Anyway, I digress. He pointed out to me something that floated back towards the front of my brain in the past few days. He told me that one of the problems with my situation (back then and probably some of them now) was that I didn't know when it was ok to back off. Hmmm. Is that ever Christianlike? I wasn't sure. He explained it like this. He said I give 100% to my job, situation, relationship - whatever it was we were discussing. Then the other side of the relationship (let's just say for ease of example) doesn't give 100% back. So a healthy person at that point would stick with their giving of the 100% or maybe even back off a little bit. But what does Deb do? She increases her level of giving and now gives 125% and somehow expects that giving extra will entice the other side to give her more. And you guessed it, when that doesn't happen, she gives 150%, thinking again that surely the other side will recognize her dedication and loyalty and will respond more favorably. When that still doesn't happen, she keeps giving at a ridiculous rate, but starts to get resentful. Hmmm. She never knows when it's ok to set a boundary and say, I'm giving my 100%, but I'm not overgiving since I'm not getting back from this relationship what I should. So what does that all mean? What I've decided as I've re-pondered this information lately is that God, indeed, is ok with my setting healthy boundaries that allow me to give what I should, expect to receive what I should, and when I don't, He's ok with my pulling back some and perhaps avoiding the nastiness of resentment in my soul. If I can accomplish this task, I believe my life will be healthier, happier, and just all around better.

Skydiving Day!

Today was the day..my daughter, Mallory, and my daughter in law, Brittany, along with 2 of their friends, jumped out of an airplane - they went skydiving. It was a beautiful day (a little chilly for us watching), and everyone did great. As you can see, the boys weren't too worried about the girls crashing and burning! It was a really fun thing to watch. and the girls said it was actually an indescribable feeling. Here's a few pictures - my brother Jim came and took lots and lots of pictures, so I'm sure we'll be seeing some more soon.

What a Week!

What a week this has been! Whew! Ever have one of those weeks that you can't wait for it to end with the knowledge that next week has to be better? Here's a run down: Monday, 2 cancellations due to sickness; invasion of the orange Asian beetle ladybug things at home and work. They are literally everywhere. Tuesday, another cancellation due to sickness, cd player stops working in middle of a massage - I stop and change cds, it plays for 2 songs, quits again - not very relaxing (actually probably more like nerve wracking) if I'm required to sing to my patients! Wednesday, I bring in my spare cd player - all is well in the massage world again, but someone makes a comment to me about "heavy people" - duh! Keep it to yourself! I take offense. I stay late at work to try to get organized and re-focused. Thursday, I pack up my massage chair, cd player (you know - the spare I just brought in) and head out to Peoria in the pouring down rain to do chair massages. I get back to the shop early during construction - noise, communication errors, etc., etc., doors on top of clean sheets - you know just regular stuff (the salon where I have my business is being remodeled). There's more noise than the day God separated the land from the water! Then a screaming kid in the salon. Wow. When I go to leave I pick up my cd player (you know - the spare I'm carrying around) and promptly drop it - oh yes, it breaks! So I call Mal who is currently at the Walmart and have her get me a new one - ahhhh! I get home and notice something on my garage floor, so I get out of the car (still in the pouring down rain) to investigate, only to find my car has again (for the 3rd or 4th time in the past couple of months) been leaking a mystery fluid. Make myself a mental note (like I have any mental left at this point) to call the mechanic and get an appointment. Today, I decide I'd better put some oil in the car in case that's what's leaking all over the garage floor, and so in my pajamas, (and in the rain), I do that, then get the new cd player (not my spare anymore) and go to finish chair massages, again in the rain, and hopefully this day will end soon! Tomorrow (Saturday) will be a perfect end to an interesting week at best - my girls are jumping out of an airplane tomorrow afternoon - hmmmmm!

Fear

When I was younger, I wasn't afraid of anything - or so I thought. As I've gotten older, I find myself worrying a little more, which, I believe, has it's roots in fear. Maybe because I've lived more of life now, so I realize that sometimes, in actuality, things can happen to people I know and love, or maybe it's because I'm more realistic about what I can and can't do - I don't know. But what I find is that fear is one of the most underrated, most powerful emotions that we all possess - whether we are aware of it or not. Fear is the motivation for many an action - whether conscious or unconscious. Fears are not rational or logical - you can't talk yourself out of them - sometimes we are not even aware we're being influenced by them. Some are obvious - I know people who prefer not to be in the dark or who won't go over a bridge or who aren't comfortable leaving their own homes. Some are more subtle and we would have to dig way down deep in ourselves to find them such as being afraid people won't like us or being afraid to leave a bad relationship because we're afraid to be alone. Whatever the fear (I believe each of us has one or some) living a life of freedom means choosing to name those fears, identify the actions associated with trying to make ourselves feel at peace and in control, and purposely charting a different path based on the fact that we are loveable and acceptable just as we are.

Lush USA

Pictured above are the luscious new things we found at a place in the Galleria Mall called "Lush". It's a store that has solid soaps, shampoos, etc. Most of it is in these big "blocks" - almost rock or concrete looking and you just tell them about how much you want, they cut it off. It's so fun! Everything is organic - whatever that really means. I think it's basically free of the harmful things that are in alot of our products. Of course, the big draw for me was the incredible smells - oh my goodness, that store put me in aroma heaven! So the things I bought in the picture are as follows, starting at the left: the purple block is a "bubble bar". You break pieces of it off, put it under running water in your tub and it makes bubbles - it's basically bubble bath. The blue circular bar is shampoo - yep, it really is. You either rub it on your wet head or rub your wet hands together and it lathers up. The green block is hair conditioner. You either rub it on your head or crumble it and kinda let it melt in your hands, then rub it on your hair. The white and yellow blocks are soap - face, hands, body - and they smell absolutely incredible - I just like to pick them up and sniff when I go in my bathroom! You should have smelled my bathroom and my bedroom after I opened my products up when we got home Saturday night - fabulous! To see what all Lush has to offer, go to www.lushusa.com. You'll love it!

Toys

My youngest niece and nephew are twins, aged 2 1/2. They came over today to visit. As you can see in this first picture to the left, I have a few toys that are age appropriate for them, that are educational, yada, yada, yada. The interesting thing is, as you can see in the second picture, that they spent most of the day playing in, yes those are my laundry baskets! They loved them. They put their toys in, carried them around, they put themselves in, insisted that others put themselves in - it was a hoot! At one point we had to get the second basket out because they were beginning to get a little crabby about sharing the one. My point being, that children see what we as adults often overlook - we think we need a certain car, certain clothes, - certain "toys" as it were - the latest and the greatest to make us happy, yet the things that will make us the happiest are right here in front of us in the everyday. Look around you today and see what ordinary things are in your life that can contribute to your happiness and well being.

Galleria Mall

This was the weekend previously reserved for a weekend getaway with my kids - you know the one we've been planning for four years, but has yet to work out. I think my girls just plain felt bad for me that it never works out, so they suggested a girls day out. We had so much fun. After some debate over drivers, and hooking up Mabel (the gps system), we were off to a wonderful breakfast at Cracker Barrel in Lincoln. After sufficiently satisfying our palates there, we were back on the road to the Galleria Mall in St. Louis. Mabel, our guide, apparently was not aware of the newly re-routed streets around the mall, so after one "drive by" where we could see the mall, but couldn't get to it, we successfully maneuvered in and had a delightful day of shopping and eating and laughing and just having fun. Thanks, girls, so much - I know it was a sacrifice for both of you, without having much (if any) sleep last night. Sleep well tonight, girls! More on my purchases later!

Parade Director

Recently I was pondering a decision I had to make that would have a large affect on my life. As I shared with my friend about my dilemma of choices, she reminded me to think about the fact that I like to direct my own parade. Hmmmm. I wasn't offended - she wasn't being mean, she was merely asking me to make sure that the decision I was contemplating was not just because I wanted to be in charge and really was the best decision for me and all that goes with me. She cares about me and could see my situation a little more clearly than I could at that moment. Everyone needs someone in their lives, I believe, who they allow to be completely honest with them. It has to be someone you trust - someone you know cares about you and your well being. Not just someone who wants to boss you around or act like they're better than you. Someone whose motivation is pure. We've all been hurt by people in our relationships that we are supposed to be able to trust - someone in a support group or a church group, a neighborhood friend, etc. But it is vitally important to our ability to see ourselves accurately (which none of us is able to do totally) that we have at least one person who we allow to look at us and say, "remember, you kind of like to direct your own parade".

Homeostasis

Homeostasis. That's the term we use in massage or medically to indicate balance. At that precise moment, everything in your body is working and moving and flowing - doing what it should. Life is good - for that precise moment. Homeostasis - I crave it for my whole being, not just my physical body. And at that moment (which always seems to last for just a short time) when all is balanced and good in my world, I am learning to be extremely thankful - partly because it's such a great feeling for all to be as it should and partly because my experience is becoming that these moments don't seem to last long. So, instead of looking and hoping for the time in my life when everything is going to be the way it should be, I'm learning to be thankful for the tidbits of time - for those precise moments right now - when all is well with me and mine.

The aging process

Ok, I have to admit that I didn't expect this. Of course, absolutely everyone tells you when you're younger, but you don't cognitively think it will happen to you. What did I cognitively think about aging? Nothing. I don't think I acknowledged it at all. This year I turned 50. No biggie - it didn't seem possible - when I think of 50, I honestly think of my mom and her sisters (who are now in their 70s) - but that's what pops to mind - I guess in my mind, that's their age. Anyway, for a small amount of time now, I have been experiencing a few minor symptoms of the hormonal adjustment, aging type process; i.e., a little hot sometimes, a little cold sometimes, a little overwhelmed and scattered sometimes, a little forgetful sometimes. Well, if I'm going to be honest I would have to say more than sometimes on the forgetful side and a tad bit more than sometimes. My only suggestion for those of you experiencing this (and I know you are) is to be able to laugh at yourself. Last night was the clincher for me. In my past employment lives I have been several things that have required my computer skills to be pretty polished - I was a legal secretary, a graphic designer, etc. But last night all I tried to do was suggest a picture from my computer to my friend's facebook page so she wouldn't be one of those blank blue shadows on her profile, when after trying several things, I decided to give up and went back to my home page and lo and behold - there she was! Her picture was now where my picture was supposed to be! I had posted her to my profile! I laughed until the neighbors would have thought I was nuts if they could hear me. Now everyone would see Regina's picture when they looked at my page. Oh my! After I finally got her off my spot, and she finally figured out how to get that picture on her spot, I decided to change my profile picture to a picture of my kids - it worked great - until I went to post a comment and to my great horrification, I find 2 partial bodies in my picture - yes, it had cut both of the boys and part of the girls out! In the meantime the picture showed up like a posting on my wall and nice people were commenting on it and again, I laughed and laughed and laughed! Technologically challenged? How could I be? After all, I was a computer whiz - sort of! Anyway, I guess laughing at myself and the situation ends up being the very best medicine after all.

Upcoming Gatherings

As I begin to ponder the possibilities of holiday gatherings in my head, it occurs to me once again that the true reason we get together sometimes gets lost in the adventure. Of course, we all want to see our family members - extended and immediate - and catch up on what all has happened since we last saw them. We enjoy our time together. But what else? Does it matter what day and time your family gathers or where? Does it matter what you eat? Traditions are important to me and I have the utmost of respect for their time tested stamina, but some things I think might need to be shaken up once in awhile. For instance, what about people you know who don't have family or a place to be? What about actually serving others on the holiday? I knew a family once who spent their Thanksgiving day at the mission, serving food. My children and I almost always have extras at our holiday dinners and I love that. I adore my family and I love getting to see my nieces and nephews, etc., etc. But isn't the foundational meaning of the holidays one of gratitude first to God for all that we have, then one of sharing and service to others - sometimes including those less fortunate than ourselves? During this upcoming holiday season, I challenge you to see if you can find someone who could use a smile of good cheer or a donation or a "I'm thinking of you" card in the mail. Whenever I extend myself to reach out to someone else, I'm always the one who receives the greater blessing. And p.s. if you are a person who doesn't have plans for the holidays - get ahold of me - there's always room for one more.

Fall

You already know I love fall because of the colors, the smells, etc., etc. However, what I failed to mention is that I LOVE fall food. Apples and everything they're related to, including carmel apples; chilli, soups, anything with the word pumpkin in it from bread to roll to cheesecake! Last Sunday I made a big batch of chilli; today a huge batch of vegetable soup; yesterday I bought a Cheesecake Factory pumpkin cheesecake at Sam's - now, you healthy friends don't be judging me - I buy one each fall and I share with others - even though I am quite capable of eating the entire cheesecake by myself! Today I'm going to make a pumpkin roll (new for me - haven't attempted this before) and earlier I made cookies. There's candles burning in the living room, the dishwasher has been run, soup's on the stove, the house has been vacuumed, and I'm just going to eat some soup, smell the candles, make (and taste) the pumpkin roll, and enjoy this nice fall evening. They go by toooooo fast, so take a moment and enjoy the crisp, cool air that reminds us that just like the earth has seasons, we have seasons of our lives - seasons of change - much like fall that hints of weather to come - the winter, where things lie dormant and rest - where inside work is done to prepare for the promised spring and birth of all things new.

Drumming

Last night I attended a new drumming circle. In case you aren't familiar, it's a loosely organized group of people (in our case all women) who get together and bang on drums - ok, a little more sophisticated than that, but basically that's what we do. Each person beats in their own rhythm and, surprisingly enough, it all fits together and sounds pretty good. You can use hand drums, congo drums, rattles or shakers, etc. Ever see "The Visitor"? There were alot of references to drumming circles in that movie, and I believe one segment even shows you a circle in action. I remember the first drumming circle I attended - I was extremely skeptical that I would enjoy it, because I was a music major in college and even someone clapping off beat in church can serve to irritate me sometimes. So the thought of all this "willy-nilly" banging on drums sounded horrendous to me at first. But I find I really enjoy it. It's tradition is based in old Native American heritage and each tribe carries their own rules and habits in the drumming. It speaks of unity, and abandonment of your thought processes to surrender yourself to that inner child - just following your own "inner drum" if you will. We get together once a month and eat together and then drum - if you're ever interested. Or, I have several drums - come on over and we'll bang on them together so you can get an idea of what it's like. I think you'll feel a connection that's both satisfying and freeing.

Apples! Fall! Comfort!

So today was a day off...sort of. I had to re-arrange a little and massage someone this a.m. Then a friend needed some help and she stopped by. Then I was supposed to wake Mal up and head to the grocery store, but....it was cold and raining and she was asleep and I just plain didn't want to go, so..we didn't - not yet anyway. So instead, my house smells wonderful with the distinct aroma of frying apples. We LOVE fried apples! It takes some effort - peeling, coring, slicing, frying - and alot of apples cook down to not a whole lot of finished product, but oh, are they good! My friends and I are having a get together for dinner tonight, and I'm taking the apples - hopefully no one will stop by and eat them first (which sometimes happens at my casa). I can always make more - that's my theory. Anyway, frying apples is not only fun because we love the taste of them so much, but also because the smell automatically translates me back in my mind to when my grandma was alive - she showed me how to fry apples - we ate them at her house alot. There was just alot of peace and comfort in grandma's kitchen - fried potatoes, fried chicken, fried apples...uh-oh... perhaps a "fried" theme is emerging here! No matter what, grandma always had a kitchen full of fried something to make everything better. There is something so comforting and inviting to me about the fall..we break out the sweatshirts, the blankets, the shoes with toes closed (someday I'm hoping!) - we're all enclosed so to speak in our extra clothes, our homes, our blankets. Maybe there is something to being wrapped up in our blankets or our sweatshirts or the arms of our loved ones...maybe that's part of why fall makes me feel so good - we're all snuggled up, safe and warm inside. Maybe we should each give someone a nice hug today - enclose them in our love - just for a brief second - and celebrate that feeling of being warm and safe.

Orchard

Yesterday my mom and my aunt took me to Christ Orchard (prounounced with a short i sound we were told - it's German) where we saw pumpkins and squash and tons of apples - more kinds than I can remember. It was a nice jaunt out into the boonies - over by Hanna City, Farmington way - it was a beautiful day filled with great scenery and good conversation. After we purchased a van load (not much exaggeration there either!) of apples of several kinds, we mosied on down the road to some sort of a antique, 2nd hand, new selling lots of stuff kind of place where I fed both my fetish for "hand" things (because of my work) and my absolute adoration for penguins (aren't they just the cutest the way they waddle?) by purchasing cookie cutters in those shapes. Yes, this year at the annual cookie bake we will be including penguin and hand cookies - hmmmmm. I'll have to decide how I can decorate them to look "Christmasy". Anyway, all in all it was a great time and I plan to make a little applesauce, fry up alot of apples (my kids love them), and maybe make some pies. My craving for apples has been thoroughly satisfied, I think.

Procession

Today I had to run into town from work to go to the bank and get some gas in my car. So, I decided to run through the bank drive through first, then down the street and into the gas station the back way - wrong. A big truck was blocking the back entrance to the gas station, so I headed to Route 9 to go out and around and go into the gas station from the front when I realized all traffic - cars, huge semis, trucks - was stopped on Route 9 going one way and everyone was going very slowly the other way on Route 9. I finally figured out (I'm not very observant) it was a funeral procession. (What was my clue - the flashers or the flags?) It was a very long procession and I was so moved by all the trucks and everyone stopped in the other lane. I think it used to be a law you had to stop, but apparently now it's not. I think it's a very nice way to show your respect for a mourning family. I remember one of the last funeral processions I was in and nobody stopped for us - we got separated from the line, people cut into our line, none of the cars going the other way stopped, and I remember thinking, "don't they know we're sad here? don't they realize we want to travel along in a slow mundane line of traffic to get to where we have final closure? can't they just go on with their lives and leave us in this 'bubble' of traffic for a moment?" So it did my heart good today to see, if only for a brief moment, a portion of humanity still caring and showing respect for others in their grief and pain. I don't know about you, but when I see a funeral procession, I still pull off the road and stop, even if no one else does. Somehow I think it conveys a quick smile or hug, if you will - a "hey, I understand how you feel" - to the people slowly driving along. So until one of those nice police people tell me I can't, I will.

Procrastination

My daughter and I (and her husky mix) moved into our new house the end of April. We did really well unpacking and putting things away - we had a garage sale before we moved and got rid of tons of good stuff. Anyway, the last bit of stuff - some work things, most of my clothes, all of my shoes except 2 pair of sandals, my jackets, yarn, etc., etc. we just put into my big walk in closet for "another day" to put away - nothing really important....until now. I have no shoes unpacked with toes in them! I have procrastinated and procrastinated about unpacking and organizing that closet and all the things in it. Is it because I don't want the disarray? Is it because I don't have one whole concentrated amount of time to get it all done? Or is it simply that I don't want to mess with it? At any rate, I have put it off for several months and now I absolutely must dig around and find my shoes at the very least! Make me accountable, friends - when you see me, ask me what shoes I wore that day (because more than likely when you see me, I'll be barefoot as I usually am) - if I don't have my tennis shoes or closed toe Crocs, you can safely make the assumption that I haven't cleaned out the closet yet. I'm really not sure there's any benefit to putting tasks off until it's simply necessary, but the older I get, the more it seems that I fall into that pattern - a last minuter!

Baby Shower

Now that my computer and I are "on the same page" so to speak, I want to show more and more pictures - so here's a few from the baby shower yesterday. You'll notice the last one was taken after everyone was gone, the furniture was all moved back, extra balloons popped, dishwasher running, etc., etc. Lucky her!

Yum!

Today we had a baby shower with more food than you can imagine - my sister in law is from Guatemala and boy, can she cook! She made chicken burritos and beef empanadas; my daughter made cookies; my daughter in law's mom made filled cupcakes - oh my! It was all wonderful. It was fun to hear and see new baby items - they just keep improving on raising those kids, don't they? It really was fun to listen to the next generation of girls who will become (some already are) moms - their ideas and expectations, the way they plan to do things, the new cloth diapers - now there's something! Hopefully along the way, we older moms will get to drop in a few words of the wisdom we have gathered over the years of loving and nurturing our own kids. In our family, this baby will be the first of the next generation and we can't wait for him to get here!

Rock pics

Ok - here's a couple pics of my friends and some of the rocks we purchased yesterday. My brother Jim was over today for my niece's baby shower and he told me a way to get around my computer's stubbornness in not loading my pictures - yay! I'm so excited to be able to function a little better!

Rock Show

Well, I wanted to have a picture to show you of my friends with their special treasures from the rock and gemstone show, but my computer has decided it is no longer going to download pictures from my camera - a problem for a different day, as I have spent hours trying to work with it myself. Hopefully Rod the computer man will be able to correct that problem - when computers don't work properly, it makes me frustrated. Anyway, my two friends Tracey and Rebecca and I enjoyed a wonderful girls day out yesterday, meeting at the Cracker Barrel in Lincoln for breakfast, and then heading down to the rock and gemstone show in Springfield at the fair grounds. There were rocks, fossils, jewelry - treasures at every booth. We had alot of fun, looking, holding, buying - but most of all laughing. Then off to Pizza Hut for a snack and to pull out all our goodies for each other to see and an enormous amount of, you guessed it, more laughing. The Bible says a merry heart does good just like a medicine and I believe it. There's just something, well, healthy feeling about laughing until you're afraid you might accidentally "leak". It's a great experience to lend yourself to and I do honestly believe all of us should do it more. A good old fashioned deep down "belly" laugh - you know - the ones where tears are running out your eyes. What was so funny you say? Who knows! I couldn't even tell you much of it now - but at the time it was absolutely hilarious and I'm sure everyone around us at Pizza Hut thought we were nuts - or were they actually jealous that we were having so much fun and they were just eating? Keep watching, as when my computer gets fixed, I'll post a picture or two for you to see of our finds. In the meantime, find something to laugh about today - you can't help but feel better when you do.

Motherhood

We are having a baby shower this weekend in honor of my niece, Amy and her husband's soon to be arrival of their first baby - a boy. That made me start thinking about my own experience of motherhood. In what other role in life will you experience practically the whole gambit of emotions, feelings, and happenings? You'll be sad, happy, proud, embarrassed, lack information, have too much information (there are some things a mother shouldn't have to know!). You'll be worried, loved, scared, hated (not really, but they'll say it), excited, and on and on and on. All in all, I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. When I was raising three teenagers, people would ask me if I wished they were smaller again - but actually I enjoyed each stage of my kids' growing up years. Each stage was different from the other, but not one better than the other. I still enjoy them now that they are grown adults themselves - very fine adults if I do say so myself. In the end, I would have to say it is quite a privilege and an honor to be allowed by God to be a mother. It's a hard job - but the rewards far outweigh the hardships.